A Day in the Life of Me

Hey lovely, welcome back.

Let’s have an honest moment: If you’ve experienced verbal abuse, there’s a good chance that boundaries were either missing, ignored, or punished in your past relationship. Maybe you never got to say “no” without a fight. I know that’s what happened in my relationship. Maybe every time you tried to speak up, you were shut down, guilt-tripped, or made to feel like you were the problem.

If that sounds familiar, this post is for you.

Because today, we’re taking our power back by learning one of the most vital skills for recovery:

Setting boundaries.

Not the cold, angry walls people think of—but healthy, loving limits that protect your peace and honor your healing.

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So, What Are Boundaries, Really?

Boundaries are how we tell the world:

“This is okay with me. This is not.”
“Here’s how I want to be treated.”
“Here’s what I need to feel safe.”

They’re not about pushing people away.
They’re about creating space for relationships that are healthy, mutual, and respectful.

Think of them like a fence—not a brick wall. They mark where you end and someone else begins. And they help you build a life where you feel safe being fully you.

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Why Boundaries Can Feel So Scary After Abuse

Let’s be real: If you were punished for having boundaries in the past, it makes total sense that even thinking about setting one now feels terrifying.

You might worry about:

• Being “too much”
• Causing drama
• Being abandoned
• Feeling selfish
• Losing love

But here’s what I want you to remember:
You are not difficult for having needs.
You are not mean for protecting your peace.
You are not wrong for refusing to accept mistreatment.

The fear isn’t your fault. It’s a wound from the abuse. And you’re allowed to heal it, step by step.

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Common Boundary Violations in Abusive Dynamics

Let’s name a few, because clarity is power:

• They demand access to you 24/7 (calls, texts, guilt when you don’t respond right away)
• They override your “no” (whether it’s about physical contact, time, space, or topics)
• They mock your feelings or limits (“You’re overreacting,” “Stop being dramatic”)
• They don’t take responsibility for crossing a line (blame-shifting, gaslighting)
• They treat your boundaries like threats instead of requests

If any of this rings true, it’s okay. You’re not alone—and you get to do things differently now.

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How to Start Setting Boundaries (Even If It Feels Weird)

This doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. Start small. Try something like:

“I’m not comfortable discussing that.”
“I need time to think before I give an answer.”
“Please don’t speak to me that way.”
“I’m not available for that today.”

Say it with kindness. Say it with firmness. Say it for you.

And if your voice shakes the first few times? That’s okay. You’re building a new muscle—and shaking means you’re doing the work.

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Let’s Be Honest: Not Everyone Will Like It

When you start setting boundaries, especially after a history of abuse, some people won’t like the new version of you—the one who has a voice, limits, and self-respect.

Let them go.
Let them be uncomfortable.
Let them feel however they feel.

You’re not responsible for anyone else’s reactions—you’re responsible for protecting your peace.

And the people who love you well? They won’t punish you for having needs. They’ll respect your boundaries. They’ll honor them. They might even thank you for them.

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Healing Prompt for Today: What Boundary Do You Need Most Right Now?

Find a quiet moment and ask yourself:

“Where in my life do I feel drained, resentful, or uncomfortable?”
“What’s one boundary I can set to protect my energy in that space?”

You don’t have to implement it today. Just name it. Write it down. Feel the truth of it in your body. That’s the first step.

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Here’s the Truth You Might Need Today

You’re not “too sensitive.”
You’re not selfish.
You’re not difficult.

You’re allowed to protect yourself.
You’re allowed to be treated with respect.
You’re allowed to change the rules of engagement.

And every time you honor your boundaries, even in a small way, you send yourself a powerful message:

“I matter.”
“My peace matters.”
“I am not here to be controlled—I’m here to be respected.”

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Tomorrow: We’ll explore how verbal abuse affects the way we show up in new relationships—and how we can start to trust again, without falling into old patterns. You’re growing so much. I’m proud of you.