If you’ve ever felt like you were losing your mind during or after being gaslit, let me be the first to say:
You’re not crazy. You’re human.
Gaslighting doesn’t just mess with your emotions—it literally messes with your brain. The confusion, the second-guessing, the anxiety, the fog? That’s not weakness. That’s your nervous system reacting to psychological warfare.
Let’s dig into the why, so you can stop blaming yourself for what someone else broke.
🧠 Gaslighting and Your Brain: A Not-So-Fun Science Lesson
When you’re constantly made to question your memory, your emotions, or your judgment, your brain goes into a kind of crisis mode.
It’s like your internal alarm system keeps going off, but the people around you are insisting there’s no fire. Eventually, you start to doubt the alarm itself.
This creates a chronic state of stress. And here’s what that does:
🧬 What Happens Inside You:
1. Your amygdala (the “fear center”) becomes hyperactive.
This is your survival system. When gaslighting is constant, your amygdala is always scanning for danger—emotional or otherwise. You may feel jumpy, anxious, or like you’re walking on eggshells all the time.
2. Your hippocampus (memory center) can shrink or fog out.
This is why survivors often say, “I can’t remember things clearly.” It’s not in your head (well, okay—it is, but you know what I mean). Long-term stress affects how your brain stores and retrieves memories.
3. Your prefrontal cortex (the logic/decision-making part) gets overwhelmed.
You may find it hard to make decisions or trust your own judgment. That’s because gaslighting erodes the part of your brain responsible for clarity and self-trust.
😔 Why You Might Feel “Crazy”
Because your brain is running a full-on trauma response, while the person gaslighting you is acting like everything’s fine.
It’s like trying to write an essay while someone keeps whispering, “You’re stupid. That’s not what happened. No one will believe you.”
It’s not just emotionally damaging—it’s neurologically exhausting.
🔄 Trauma Loops & Repetition
When gaslighting happens in cycles (and it almost always does), your brain starts to adapt to the dysfunction.
This can lead to:
- Over-apologizing
- People-pleasing
- Self-blame
- Freeze or shutdown responses
Survivors often say, “I didn’t even know who I was anymore.” That’s not weakness—it’s the result of your brain doing its best to survive in chaos.
💡 The Good News: Your Brain Can Heal
Neuroplasticity is your superpower.
That’s a fancy way of saying: Your brain can rewire itself.
With safety, support, and validation, you can:
- Regain your memory and clarity
- Rebuild self-trust
- Reduce anxiety
- Reconnect with your voice
The damage gaslighting causes is real—but so is your ability to recover.
🧘♀️ Gentle Steps Toward Healing
Here are a few ways to start reclaiming your mental space:
- Practice grounding techniques like deep breathing or body scans when you feel triggered.
- Reaffirm your reality by writing down what you know to be true—even if someone else denied it.
- Surround yourself with validating people—even if it’s just one.
- Rest without guilt. Mental fatigue is real after psychological abuse. Rest isn’t lazy. It’s survival.
✨ You’re Not Broken
You are not weak. You are not crazy.
You are a human being who’s been through something designed to make you feel that way.
And the very fact that you’re reading this now? That means the fog is lifting—and your healing has already begun.
Journaling Prompt:
What’s something you knew deep down but were made to feel unsure of? Reclaim that truth in your own words. You don’t need permission to trust yourself again.
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