Hey there, beautiful human.
Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get said enough after surviving verbal abuse:
Trusting again can be terrifying.
Not just trusting others, but trusting yourself.
If you’ve ever asked:
- “Why do I keep attracting the same kind of person?”
- “Why didn’t I see the red flags?”
- “How can I ever trust someone—or myself—again?”
You’re not crazy. You’re not broken. You’re a survivor trying to navigate love, friendship, and connection while carrying scars most people don’t even realize exist.
Today we’re going to explore why it feels so hard… and how to start moving forward anyway.
Abuse Warps the Way We See Relationships
When you’ve been on the receiving end of gaslighting, criticism, control, or manipulation, it changes how you experience connection.
Here’s how verbal abuse can affect your relationship radar:
- You normalize toxic behavior because it once felt like “love.”
- You silence yourself to avoid conflict, even when your needs are unmet.
- You confuse chaos with chemistry, and peace with boredom.
- You second-guess everything, afraid to trust your instincts.
- You people-please to keep the peace and avoid abandonment.
Sound familiar?
This doesn’t mean you’re doomed to repeat the same pattern.
It means you’re healing from one—and healing takes practice.
Let’s Get Real: It’s Not About Them, It’s About You
We tend to focus on “how to find a better partner,” but here’s the truth:
Healing is not just about who you choose next—it’s about how you treat yourself in relationships.
Because if you don’t believe you deserve to be treated with respect, your boundaries will blur. You’ll tolerate too much. You’ll shrink yourself to stay.
The real work? It starts inside.
Here’s the Truth About Trust
Trust isn’t a light switch. It’s not “on” or “off.”
It’s a muscle—something you rebuild little by little.
Start here:
- Trust your gut. If something feels off, pay attention. Your body often knows before your brain does.
- Trust your no. If you’re not ready, you don’t owe anyone access to you—not even someone “nice.”
- Trust your pace. You don’t have to rush into intimacy to prove you’re lovable. Let love earn its way in.
You are not hard to love.
You were just taught to accept too little.
Red Flags Aren’t Always Obvious—But You Can Relearn What Safe Feels Like
After abuse, it can be hard to know what’s “normal.” So here’s a little guide:
🚩 Red Flags Might Look Like:
- Quick intensity: “I’ve never felt this way about anyone.” (fast and overwhelming)
- Blame-shifting: “You made me act this way.”
- Emotional rollercoasters: High highs, low lows.
- Inconsistency: Hot and cold behavior.
- Pushing boundaries: “Don’t be so uptight.”
🌱 Green Flags Might Look Like:
- Respecting your “no” without pouting or pushing.
- Apologizing without defensiveness.
- Consistent actions, not just sweet words.
- Encouraging your independence.
- Making space for your voice.
You don’t need perfect. You just need safe. And that includes you, too.
Healing Prompt for Today: What Would Safe Love Feel Like?
Close your eyes, take a breath, and ask yourself:
“If I felt completely emotionally safe in a relationship… what would that feel like?”
“How would I be spoken to?”
“How would I be treated when I make a mistake?”
“What would I no longer tolerate?”
You don’t need to have all the answers right away. Just begin to imagine it. Name it. Claim it.
You’re allowed to want something better. And you’re allowed to receive it, too.
You Are Not Doomed To Repeat the Past
You are not your trauma.
You are not your abuser’s voice.
You are not too broken, too guarded, or too damaged to love—or be loved—again.
You are learning. You are unlearning. You are choosing differently now.
That is sacred. That is strength. That is healing in motion.
Tomorrow (Day 7): We’ll talk about the power of reclaiming your voice—the same voice that might’ve once been silenced, criticized, or ignored. You’re finding your way back to yourself, and it’s a beautiful thing.
A Day in the Life of Me 
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