So here you are: you’ve identified the pattern, the red flags, the manipulation. You’ve named the love bombing for what it was. And yet…a part of you still misses them. Still wonders what if. Still hopes maybe they’ll change.
If that’s you, please breathe in and hear this:
You are not weak. You are not foolish. You are not alone.
Missing someone who love bombed you—and even hurt you—isn’t a sign that you’re broken. It’s a completely normal part of recovering from emotional abuse. And there’s a reason for it.
🧠 First, Let’s Talk About Trauma Bonds
When someone love bombs you, they create an emotional high—a wave of affection, attention, and intensity that lights up the brain like a fireworks show. Your nervous system gets hooked on that rush. And just when you’re floating… they pull back.
That drop? It creates panic and confusion. You try harder. You cling tighter. And when they throw you another crumb of affection? Relief floods in.
This cycle of extreme highs and lows creates a trauma bond—a psychological attachment that feels very much like love, but is built on survival, fear, and craving validation.
❤️ You’re Not Missing Them—You’re Missing the Fantasy
One of the most painful parts of healing is realizing you weren’t in love with who they truly were. You were in love with:
- Their potential
- The version of them they performed in the beginning
- The dream they sold you about a future together
And who wouldn’t miss that dream?
But that dream was deliberately designed to make you stay—even after their actions no longer matched the image they created.
😔 “But They Weren’t All Bad…”
Of course they weren’t. Most abusers aren’t cruel 100% of the time. If they were, you wouldn’t have stayed.
They mixed in enough sweetness to keep you hooked. Enough apologies to spark hope. Enough “good moments” to make you question the bad ones. This isn’t your fault—this is the cycle of emotional manipulation.
Missing them doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
It means you’re human. And your heart is healing.
🧭 How to Gently Work Through It
Here are a few healing reminders if you’re currently in that confusing middle place:
- Name the Pattern
Journal about what was said and done vs. how it made you feel. Seeing it on paper helps separate truth from fantasy. - Remind Yourself: Love Shouldn’t Hurt
If it felt like emotional whiplash, it wasn’t love. It was control. - Reclaim Your Reality
What did you lose in the relationship? Friendships, confidence, peace of mind? Start taking those pieces back. - Talk to Someone Who Gets It
Whether it’s a therapist, support group, or trusted friend—talking helps you process what was real and what was manipulation. - Grieve the Illusion
It’s okay to grieve the dream they gave you. The future you thought you had. That loss is real, even if they were never who they claimed to be.
💛 Gentle Closing Reminder:
It’s okay to miss them. It’s okay to feel confused. It’s okay to take your time letting go.
But please know: Missing them doesn’t mean you should go back.
It means you’re healing from a very real emotional wound.
And the fact that you’re reading this?
That means you’re already stronger than you think!
A Day in the Life of Me 
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